There was a woman whose name (as I knew it) was Lucy She loved nice cream bars (so very fruity) After eating the bars And with no animals harmed She would flail her arms – oh, let’s do the watusi!
Journo Pete was about to turn forty When he lost his job and with it the glory He came close to the brink Downed his sorrow in drink And when he came to his face told the story
The old man sat by the pier on the ground He sat there drinking all the year round One day with a grudge A stranger gave him a nudge And the old man fell in the water and drowned
There once was a man they called Bates Who came to the movement a little too late The Commissar thought him a spy She gave no reason why And he was trudged off not knowing his fate
The Health Commissar said stay home or get ill Report signs of a dry cough, feeling tired or chills We must kill this thing Get a jab – it won’t sting If your brothers and sisters won’t thank you I will
There once was a man they called Ted His State Leader made his face turn bright red He stayed home in dismay - He had so much to say But he was masked up and silenced instead.
There was an adventurous fellow called Willy He hiked a mountain he felt way too hilly He got to the top Thought; shit, what a drop What an old silly-billy was Willy
There's a virus - they call it Corona It creates panic all the world over The shelves - they are bare No toilet paper to spare So we wipe our bum on whatever's left over
There was a young lad they called Murray A church-boy from a hilltop in Surrey He looked up at the spire Saw it was on fire And he ran out in one hell of a hurry
An old lady turned one hundred and three Good for her age although she couldn’t see We drank for good cheer (She had one for each year) Ending up under the table with me