There was a woman whose name (as I knew it) was Lucy She loved nice cream bars (so very fruity) After eating the bars And with no animals harmed She would flail her arms – oh, let’s do the watusi!
There once was a man they called Bates Who came to the movement a little too late The Commissar thought him a spy She gave no reason why And he was trudged off not knowing his fate
The Health Commissar said stay home or get ill Report signs of a dry cough, feeling tired or chills We must kill this thing Get a jab – it won’t sting If your brothers and sisters won’t thank you I will
There once was a man they called Ted His State Leader made his face turn bright red He stayed home in dismay - He had so much to say But he was masked up and silenced instead.
There's a virus - they call it Corona It creates panic all the world over The shelves - they are bare No toilet paper to spare So we wipe our bum on whatever's left over
There was a young lad they called Murray A church-boy from a hilltop in Surrey He looked up at the spire Saw it was on fire And he ran out in one hell of a hurry
An old lady turned one hundred and three Good for her age although she couldn’t see We drank for good cheer (She had one for each year) Ending up under the table with me
I walked through the Pearly Gates leading to Heaven I’d reached the ripe old age of Eighty-Seven I said; Pete; I want my wife I would have kept my old life If I’d known I’d be bunking with my damn neighbour Kevin
A man could be seen at the pier every morning Every day someone would notice him yawning Too early? one said The man’s eyes were still red Oh, it’s my wife – she just can’t stand my snoring
There once was a fellow from Surrey Who said; it’s coming – oh shit, what a worry He felt his butt take a turn And thunder and churn I better get to the loo in a hurry